Juliet, Naked

Chris O’Dowd really isn’t a dramatic actor, sorry dude NO Release date: August 17, 2018Director: Jesse PeretzLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Anyone in an unhappy relationship When should you watch this movie: When it dawns on you that you’re the toxic one in the relationship The sell: This is a story with aContinue reading “Juliet, Naked”

Leap Year

I’d like to apologize to all of Ireland NO Release date: January 6, 2010Director: Anand TuckerLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Irish people, for a laugh. People who have been recently engaged and just want to judge other people’s proposals.  When should you watch this movie: When you’re feeling very forgiving of outdated genderContinue reading “Leap Year”

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

The bad one NO Release date: July 15, 2005Director: Tim BurtonLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People still obsessed with being “Edgy”  When should you watch this movie: When you just ate something poisonous and need to throw up The sell: Sorry to everyone who for some reason is still a Johnny Depp fan.Continue reading “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”

Red Sparrow

The ballet dance body double did a good job NO Release date: February 15, 2018Director: Francis LawrenceLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People who genuinely enjoyed the Mockingjay movie.  When should you watch this movie: When you’re feeling particularly ill-willed towards Jennifer Lawrence  The sell: I really don’t know why so many “girl power”Continue reading “Red Sparrow”

The Tree of Blood / El Árbol del la Sangre

Incest-lite NO Release Date: October 31, 2018Director: Julio MedemLanguage: Spanish Who should watch this movie: People who like Julio Medem’s movies and are also wrong  When should you watch this movie: When you want to break up with your partner but don’t know how to tell them (Watch this movie together, I promise they willContinue reading “The Tree of Blood / El Árbol del la Sangre”

Sex and Lucía / Lucía y el Sexo

There are pornos with better storylines NO Release date: August 24, 2001Director: Julio MedemLanguage: Spanish Who should watch this movie: People who thought it was a porno and really should stop the tape before it gets to the death bits When should you watch this movie: When you’re down to only watch the first 30Continue reading “Sex and Lucía / Lucía y el Sexo”

Tulip Fever

The history is more exciting NO Release date: September 1, 2017Director: Justin ChadwickLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: No one in particular  When should you watch this movie: Not at home when you could watch something else, but also not on an airplane because 90% of the scenes are shot in candlelight and thusContinue reading “Tulip Fever”

The Constant Gardener

Not a romance movie NO Release date: August 31, 2005Director: Fernando MeirellesLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People making their way methodically through Ralph Fiennes’ filmography  When should you watch this movie: When you need to be reminded that Big Pharma is evil because you forgot for some reason. The sell: Rachel Weisz wasContinue reading “The Constant Gardener”