Mank

Catch me getting my hot take in BEFORE the Oscars so people won’t call me an edgelord after this movie sweeps every category. MAYBE Release date: November 13, 2020Director: David FincherLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: People who love movies (like, Love love). Folks with an interest in Hollywood lore. Political scientists.  When shouldContinue reading “Mank”

Meshes of the Afternoon

If I ever find myself at a seance, you can bet your ass I’ll be attempting to contact Maya Deren. I have so many questions for her, the first and most important being: Will you be my girlfriend? YES Release date: 1943Director: Maya Deren, Alexander HammidLanguage: N/A Who should watch this movie: Simps. People whoContinue reading “Meshes of the Afternoon”

To Kill a Mockingbird

A lot to unpack here MAYBE Release date: December 25, 1962Director: Robert MulliganLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: High school students  When should you watch this movie: In your high school english class  The sell: This movie was monumental for a lot of reasons, especially for its time. It was also emblematic of theContinue reading “To Kill a Mockingbird”

La Jetée

Not sure how we feel about having short films on this list, but hey who’s gonna stop me MAYBE Release date: February 16, 1962Director: Chris MarkerLanguage: French Who should watch this movie: Film nerds. Fans of the avant-garde When should you watch this movie: I’m genuinely not sure what the right mood for experimental cinemaContinue reading “La Jetée”

Roma

 A friend once said that Roma was “slow” so I cut them out of my life YES Release date: November 21, 2018Director: Alfonso CuarónLanguage: Spanish, Mixtec Who should watch this movie: People who’ve read 100 years of solitude. Fans of Ozu’s movies.  When should you watch this movie: When you miss your family. When youContinue reading “Roma”

Schindler’s List

There’s nothing funny about this one MAYBE Release date: December 15, 1993Director: Steven SpielbergLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Goyim. People who have never seen it before.  When should you watch this movie: There’s not really a “good time” for this movie The sell: I am of the opinion that everyone should see Schindler’sContinue reading “Schindler’s List”

Casablanca

For the love of god say it with a long “A” sounds please I’m begging you YES Release date: November 26, 1942Director: Michael CurtizLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Everyone at least once if not twice.  When should you watch this movie: Right now folks! Right fucking now!  The sell: The fact that CasablancaContinue reading “Casablanca”

The Third Man

There are at least three men YES Release Date: September 1, 1949Director: Carol ReedLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Fans of mystery. Fans of noir films.  When should you watch this movie: Immediately following a WWII documentary. When you’re doing research for a role as “femme fatale.”  The sell: The Third Man is theContinue reading “The Third Man”

His Girl Friday

A better love story than The Notebook YES Release Date: January 18, 1940Director: Howard HawksLanguage: English Who should watch this movie: Journalists. Aspiring journalists. Retired journalists.  When should you watch this movie: When you’re fighting with your partner. When you’re pissed at your boss.  The sell: Non-stop zippy dialogue for the entire picture. I’m notContinue reading “His Girl Friday”

Sansho the Bailiff / 山椒大夫

Extra sad! Down with capitalism! YES Release Date: March 31, 1954Director: Kenji MizoguchiLanguage: Japanese Who should watch this movie: People who think Kurosawa is the only Japanese director of note.   When should you watch this movie: When you have the next 48 hours to recover emotionally.  The sell: Sansho the Bailiff starts sad and getsContinue reading “Sansho the Bailiff / 山椒大夫”