The Great Wall

What the hell happened here

NO

Release date: December 6, 2016
Director: Zhang Yimou
Language: English, Mandarin

Who should watch this movie: People who watch bad movies for fun.

When should you watch this movie: When you need some background noise in your empty apartment. After watching Velocipastor and before watching Trolls 2. 

The sell: You will know going in that you will hate this movie, but trust me when I tell you, it won’t be for the reasons you think. This movie invents new and exciting ways to be terrible. Between plot holes, inconsistent accents, dumb costumes, and Matt Damon, this film has all the elements of a truly awful production and then some. The hilarious bit is that it also contains elements that – in other contexts – would indicate a good movie, such as direction by Zhang Yimou and Willem Dafoe. This production was a collaboration between the American and Chinese film industries, which – politically – was a nightmare, especially when this movie bombed at the box-office. I look forward to the Wanda group’s next attempt at a blockbuster hit, especially if it’s as bad as this one. 

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